Is the right side of my blog still there on y'all's screens? For days now the entire right side where I say "music i'd recommend", etc. in the brown has been gone on my screen and it's all messed up. Do you see it?
For those of you that want your news in a rational, anti-liberal, sometimes humerous context, I would recommend you check out Glenn Beck. http://www.glennbeck.com/ He used to be on AM radio before Rush Limbaugh which I sometimes enjoy listening to--but he also has his own TV show and website.
With SO MANY flaming liberals out there reporting to me the news, which I never know what to believe from them, it's very refreshing to have a conservative who doesn't embarrass me.
Check out Glenn's videos of his show, they're great. I just finished watching "Food vs. Fuel" which is very very interesting...and also "How the Liberal Media Works". His news just makes sense, he's not afraid to say it like it really is, and not afraid to call out stupid actions done by both liberals and conservatives. He doesn't have an agenda like the liberal media and he's not manipulative! What a concept!
Yep, he's the man. Thanks Porter, for reaffirming his awesomeness. :)
I think you have too many shoes... 
I think only about 3 people will understand this one.... 
Get it....tense.....tents..... 
I know this is in poor taste to make fun of 'short people' and all, but he was fun to draw and that song makes me laugh. Yeah, I know it doesn't make much sense, but neither do I!
Miss South Carolina beauty pageant speech.... Oh, so sad. Support United States Education 
It's fun to depict idioms and sayings that make no sense. This one's kinda gay...but whatever... :) 
Well it's about that time- the time of year when kamakazi deer like to spring from the fields and woods and total your car into oblivion. I am quite a paranoid driver on country roads here, especially in twilight and in the evening. I do have a reason for this paranoia though, and it's cause I've hit 2 deer in my life, and become very close on many MANY other occassions. It's seriously not fun, and quite scary in fact. If you don't believe me, or have never hit a deer, this very short video may give you an idea of how much it sucks....even though hitting one in person, along with the heart attack you give yourself, the screeching of breaks, and the SMASH of the deer limbs against metal cannot be described unless you experience it.
Anyone hit one before?
I just got back from watching "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed" in the theater. I was so curious about it, I went by myself, which was kinda lame but I survived. Basically I just wanted to regurgitate a few of the points I heard, along with my own opinion scattered around.
One of the biggest points that Ben Stein was trying to make was that the freedom of speech in the scientific community is nothing but a myth. There is not the freedom to truly question the authoritative views of Darwinian evolution, the powerhouse of modern science. Questioning this theory (and it IS still a theory) and questioning the people, schools, and organizations that believe in it, means that individuals are now putting themselves at a very big risk of many negative outcomes. Such outcomes could present themselves as being fired from their job, being ridiculed both personally and professionally, and overall being tagged an ignorant radical fool with no scientific merit.
Questioning the authority, Stein concurred, does not necessarily simply mean to say that they are refuting all theories of evolution and accepting creationism and the theory of the Christian God. No, questioning the authority only means to suggest that there might be room to think about accepting the idea of the possibility of intelligent design. It was said over and over by different individuals in the interviews that one should not "challenge the consensus view". Stein found this unbelievably ironic, because at the time when Darwin proposed his theory of evolution, he was questioning the consensus view! Look how he has turned the scientific community upside down!
Many evolutionists think that creationists believe that Darwin was completely false in his
presumptions and findings about evolution. It is a proven fact though, and only the most ignorant scientists and humans can deny this, that evolution does take place. Not "Darwinian evolution", but the actual simple definition of evolution which means change over time. We cannot deny that the world has changed over it's course of existence, and so have species. So we don't believe that Darwin was totally off in all of his findings, in fact some of his findings were just factual and quite true. The problem comes, however, when Darwin tried to use his theories of evolution to explain the origin of life and development. Hence his book, On the Origin of Species written in 1859. He tried to use simple theories of change in species to explain how life had started, though not from the actual beginning of life, rather filling in the gaps between creation and now. A leading evolutionist in his field told Stein in the interview that Darwin's theories looked like "a room of smoke", filled with evidence that was very clouded and unclear. This shocked Stein.
One thing that personally never ceases to amaze me is hearing the theories of the actual origins of life from evolutionists. It is no exaggeration to say that evolutions believe that the origin of life developed somehow, someway, from either crystals, mutations, primordial sludge, or aliens. And they call creationism a bunch of fairy tales! Come on! If that doesn't sound like a bad science fiction movie, I don't know what does. I just think that's hilarious that they call us foolish and turn around and say we came from crystals. It's also funny how no evolutionist can describe exactly where they believe life originated from. For example, they may say we came from crystals or sludge- but where did the crystals or sludge come from? Where is the actual ORIGIN of the species? They don't know.
Another rhetorical fallacy is when evolutions start sentences in a debate like this: "Since the
bible is a bunch of fairy tales and only people that base science on fairy tales are ignorant morons, then...." You will notice when talking to any evolutionists that they soon give up on scientific evidence and use their own beliefs of anti-Christianity to defeat the creationist before they even open their mouths. Defending Darwinism quickly turns to attacking religion. This is a cop-out in any debate situation.
One pro-evolution biology professor even admitted that by believing in evolution there is no deep meaning in life, there is no hope, and there is no God. Isn't it so tragic to think about the lives that these people lead that consist of no meaning, hope or God, especially when they themselves admit it? That brings euthanasia, abortion and genocide to a completely different level, does it not? Since we are just a bag of bones that have morphed from a crystal, then why should we cherish life?
One reason that I think so many evolutionists, and the evolutionist powerhouse is so afraid to even think about accepting the idea that there could be a form of intelligent design, is that by disproving evolution you approve creation and/or God. They can't let go of their theories because their theory is their life. This is why people do not have the freedom to speak up against evolution, because it would being down a regime of lies and propaganda. And yes, evolution has turned into propaganda.
However, evolutionists think that we are in the same boat- that taking away creationism means taking away the Bible. And taking away the bible would be like taking away an old woman's
knitting needle. So they condescend to us and say we can have our fairy tales while they deal with the real science, but that is the biggest lie of it all. They are only protecting the remains of a failing ideology!
Throughout the film, Stein often showed scenes of the Berlin wall. He compared this debate to the wall, which I thought was very interesting. He said that evolution has spiraled into a place where people have the "freedom" of new and different ideas as long as they're restricted to stay within the boundaries of the wall. Outside of the wall, outside of Darwinian evolution, is outside of respected science. Speaking of respected science, I really like how Stein made an effort to show that not all creationists are ignorant morons. He showed very well educated and well spoken professors defending their science- in a society that makes Christians look like dumb, naive, two-teethed redneck pigs, I so appreciated him trying to show the world what Christians really look like.
All in all, I highly recommend this film. I commend Stein for making it, and have a new respect
for him (added on to my prior respect for him for wearing Simple brand tennis shoes with his fancy suit). I'll admit that there were a few things said in the interviews that made me flinch just a little bit. It's hard for me to hear when very smart and intimidating men say that the Bible is a hoax and a fairy tale and nobody but complete idiots believe it. Not that I believe that, obviously, but it always pokes me the wrong way. So be prepared for that. I have been extremely interested in evolution vs. creation for many many years now, especially after my advanced biology course in high school where I said in front of the class that "Evolution is a bunch of crap" which made my evolution-teaching bio teacher's jaw drop to the floor. So this film was particularly interesting to me, though if you're not into this kind of thing, it'll probably be boring for you.
Anyway, go see the movie!
So part of my intentional stress relief lately has been designing t-shirts for no reason- just something to get my mind going for fun. Here are some I worked on last week and some today. I don't expect to necessarily use the Building designs at the ministry, they're just practice.
If you don't watch House you may not get this one. I really do love this show, but the only part about it that irritates me is that in like 9 out of 10 episodes they always suggest that the mysterious disease is lupus, but it's NEVER LUPUS. I illustrated this with a new design tablet I'm using which I'm kinda in love with.
I'm not totally happy with this one. Should I say, "Get in the kitchen and make me a sandwhich" instead? That's a bit sexist... Anyway, she's a crazy lookin' honkie and the red makes her look like the spawn of a satanic being...but I might go with normal coloring or grays here too...
I dunno if this one's stupid or not, but it's just practice anyway. 
For the more conservative t-shirt wearer...
Grafitti...
Lately, there haven't been too many things I've been genuinely worried / anxious about. However, I am worried about something and I really really need your prayer, whoever is out there reading this!
In order to have an informational session about my mission to Slovakia at my church, all of the pastors need to approve it. I met with the first pastor and that went well. However, tomorrow for lunch I'm meeting with the other THREE pastors at ONCE. I know for a fact that at least one of them doesn't agree with what I'm doing. I know for a fact that they're going to bring up doctrinal issues of which I don't know exactly how to answer (PCA versus Reformed Baptist).
I'm seriously nervous just thinking about it right now! Oh gosh. Please pray for this, as this is extremely important in getting the support from the folks in my church... EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!
I'll let ya know how it turns out...
Jars of Clay is a band that I have known about and enjoyed since I can remember. Bands like this, for me, make it hard to know if they're really a great band and produce good music, or if I like them because I've always known them. I may never know, but their first album Flood is really the only album that I absolutely am still in love with to this day. I think there's always a first album magic that happens with bands.
Anyway, for reasons I can't list in public, I was having a rough night. On my way home from work late tonight I listened to JOC very loudly whilst singing loudly as well. I've gotta admit I broke down as the song "Worlds Apart" came on. I have been on the verge of tears for at least a week now and it was a good release.
In a time for me when I feel like my world is steadily falling apart, to sing to the Lord "TAKE MY WORLD APART" seems so backwards...but it is what we must be willing to do to follow Christ. We must be willing to allow God to unravel our lives and piece it back together, or else we don't believe He's really sovereign. Piece by piece, I feel bricks in my self-built wall crumbling down- stability, income, tangible friends, stable housing, a supportive church, support raising- all these things which I'm lately losing the battle on obtaining or keeping. I know God won't let my whole wall crumble at once past the point I can bear it, but I'm feeling the weight of it. Anyway, I wasn't going to say any of that cause it's complicated...but whatever.
Here's what I wanted to post- the lyrics to Worlds Apart, and the video if you wanna see it. The video is a very long and different version than the CD, but it's not bad. The breakdown at the end starting with "I look beyond the empty cross..." is my favorite. Sorry there's a lot of lyrics.
"Worlds Apart"
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart
I'd just like to show you all my new car. Don't worry, it's not new, in fact it's roughly 15 years old. Buying a car is the last thing I wanted to do, but the only car I had was my step dad's truck which got about 2 miles to the gallon and took over $60 to fill up. This car, which I will either name Sexy Beast or Lucky (because it's green and I REALLY need it to be lucky and not break down). What name do you think? Any new name suggestions?
So yeah! A '93 Ford Escort is my new friend. I hate Fords, yuck, but whatever... it was $500 and I got insurance today for really cheap. $180 for 6 months!!! HAHA! That's incredible.
Dang, that ripped, torn down roof is so hot. 
Check out des' boomers that came wit' it! Holler! (...and if it breaks down, I'll sell the sound system and probably make money on this...)
And ma' chrome rims? Daaaaang! They musta' cost at least a few grand. Shoooot, they so hot.
Now let's hope nothing happens to this dang car.I saw this video on TV one day last week and the whole time I couldn't figure out if I really liked it, or thought it was stupid. I will admit the tune is really catchy, and I like Chris Martin. I especially like when he's playing at minute 2:30 (though the fireworks are kinda stupid).
What do you think of this mix of oozy romantic pop singer with a rap artist?
...that REALLY doesn't like the beach. It is very rare for me to find anyone else that thinks the same way I do about it. I've grown up going to the beach cause it's only a few hours from us. So I'm sure up until I was about 12 or 13 I really enjoyed it. Since then, especially in the past ohhh 6 or 7 years, I have found little enjoyment in it.
I just don't see the fascination with sand, sweat, salt, and sunburn (4 things which all suck) coming together in one "vacation". Sand gets everywhere, in every crevice, in your teeth when you eat, the salt burns your eyes and shaved legs, you smell like crap all the time when you're at the beach, and worst of all sunburn is the devil.
Oh, and a little thing called sharks and other animals that bite or sting you!? Dude, I don't care how rare you think shark attacks are- in the summer in Florida every few weeks last year we heard about someone getting eaten or half-eaten by a shark! Screw that, I'm terrified of that.
OH! And being half naked in front of everybody too! Come on! That's not fun for people like me! Maybe if I was the super-model type then I might dig it more, but not me.
Friday I went to Carolina Beach near Wilmington with my mom and step sister, Renee. It was Renee's last weekend before joining the Navy so I went along with it. My mom doesn't like it when we're not all together, all the time on vacations. So she loves the beach and went down to sit on it- so I went with her to keep the peace.
It was borderline cold, which I didn't mind, so I hiked my shorts up and put on a tank top, sat in a lawn chair and read my Relevant magazine and listened to tunes for about an hour or so. I didn't really feel any burning going on, though I am not a sunbathing expert, obviously. Within an hour, my skin starts to feel a little interesting.
By that night, I can see that my white-as-Casper legs have been charred by the Sun, as well as my shoulders. I have been trying not to whine about this pain to anyone, but I just want to say that this is by far the worst burn on my legs I've ever had. It doesn't hurt just when something touches it, it hurts when I stand- like I feel it in my muscles or something. It hurts when I sit, when I lay down, when water is on it, anything. I am usually not one to shed a tear if I'm in pain, but I will admit I got misty-eyed once or twice.
So for the rest of the "vacation" I was such a downer- which I hated, but I couldn't help it once it happened. Five more family members joined us Saturday too.
Not to mention I left my laptop plug-in cord for the wall in the hotel room, which makes me mad at myself for doing that cause that's just stupid...which is why I couldn't make a snazzy header for this entry cause I'm using Renee's computer till I get my cord.
Anyway, so am I the only one out there who hates the beach? Can anyone relate to this? Who here would rather be on a river in the mountains? Oh oh oh, me! Me! Me! Oh and for the record, I don't mind the beach so much if it's cold out and I can wear jeans and a sweatshirt and walk around and look at the ocean--that's pretty cool. I mean I like looking at water and animals and all that, so I'm not 100% opposed to it, just not when it's 250 degrees and I'm expected to lay down in the hot sand for 4 or 5 hours.
Smell what I'm steppin' in!?
So my mom has this prescription antibiotics she gave me to get rid of my infection (sinus infection maybe?) I'm usually against using antibiotics most of the time, especially for a simple infection like this as miserable as it is sometimes. Not to mention the ridiculous cost of seeing the doctor and getting the prescription just so you can shorten your cold symptoms a few days. It's just not worth it to me- I REALLY wanna talk about my theories on taking medicine, but I'll refrain since I'm trying to make my posts shorter so maybe people will read them...
And I was just about to pop one... until I decided to check out the medication, Avelox, on the internet to make sure it was okay, since I'm allergic to Asprin. I saw the Avelox website and everything looked good. Then I checked Drugs.com to find out side effects so in case I had an allergic reaction I'd know what's up. (BTW, I've had one before and it was one of the worst feelings I've ever had!) So here is the list of possible side effects from taking Avelox.... (cut and pasted from the website, without their fluffy language)
..."convulsions and other problems with the nervous system, agitation, anxiety, dizziness, confusion, depression, hallucinations, nervousness, nightmares, tremors, suicidal thoughts, tendon ruptures, serious intestinal inflammation, diarrhea, peripheral neuropathy, muscle weakness, paralysis, pain or numbness, a burning sensation, a "pins and needles" sensation, avoid excess sunlight and tanning beds, dangerous bowel inflammation, dizziness or light-headedness, heart irregularities, palpitations or fainting spells"...
Ya know folks? Honestly, I'd rather suffer from a stuffed up head and cough for a little longer than risk any of that crap, even though the odds of that happening are slim. Sorry Pharmaceutical gods, I won't fall for it this time!
I was talking with a friend the other day about gay marriage, and how or why we agree or disagree with it. We both definitely disagreed with it, but the question of whether or not the government should have a say in whether or not it's illegal was another question. It wasn't as easy of a question to answer.
So that got me thinking about some other things. It got me thinking about things which we as Christians and/or human beings know to be morally wrong but are or aren't regulated by the government. Should the government have the power to police actions done by people that are seen as immoral by certain individuals? If we allow the government to oversee moral
laws, are we inhibiting freedom? If the government stops overseeing moral laws, is this the beginning of the desensitization of our society?
Again, for me this is not a cut and dry, black and white question. In general I carry an attitude of letting people do whatever they want, as long as it's not illegal or negatively affecting other people. But I wonder how close to this gray line I can really get without putting the biblical morals in jeopardy.
Gay marriage is the first one in question. Gay rights, whatever the crap that's supposed to mean, polygamy, incest, drug use, etc. These are personal decisions that, although are poor choices and a sure way to screw up your life, do not directly negatively affect others. They can be done in private.
Then there are the things I think SHOULD be regulated (either allowed or not allowed) by the government, simply because these decisions DIRECTLY affect someone else who does not have the age or knowledge to make their own decisions--such as abortion, homeschooling, crime, immigration, etc.
So when people say anything about gay marriage, I want to shake my head and say 'What's this world coming to'...so it's not a matter of whether I agree with it or not, let me be clear, but whether people should have the freedom to screw up their lives and do terrible things without the government trying to regulate it.
On the other hand, I struggle with this idea of knowing that homosexuality is unnatural and unbiblical. So for me, I look at the society's eventual acceptance of gay marriage spiraling downwards into all sorts of ridiculous things---like marrying two animals together (a current practice with a real priest really taking place!). 
So if we use this logic of 'I love this person/thing so much so I should be able to marry it- the Bible isn't relevant in this debate because the Bible is false- therefore I should be able to marry anything I love." So what does that mean marriage will look like in 50 years? Humans marrying animals? Humans marrying trees? Dogs marrying bones? I mean seriously, if we start muddying up the lines of marital sanctity now, what do you expect our society to accept in a century?
Suddenly marriage has lost all of it's beauty and sanctity- suddenly we've distorted marriage into something that it was never intended to be- something unnatural- more of a stubborn statement to the government than the real unity of a man and a woman joined together in a bound relationship that is designed to procreate and form natural families and continue the human race for years and years.
To me, this is the beginning of a relativist view- do whatever's good for you and I'll do whatever's good for me and we'll all be fine and dandy.
And I might as well take this opportunity to tell you that I don't believe gay couples should be able to adopt kids. Coming from someone who has not only grown up with a broken family, with most of her friends coming from broken families, and from someone who's done research on how the product of a broken family grows up to live- it is a huge mistake. Screw rights. Selfish people like that don't understand how their decisions will affect their adopted children. 
Yet as I'm writing that, I'm thinking to myself, "But there are so many kids out there who desperately need to be adopted, and if the gay couple can love them should they should be allowed?" That still seems so wrong to me though! I just can't agree.
Okay, these were kind of random thoughts, but I really really have to go and can't finish that thought cause I'm very late for something but if you have any thoughts on this, leave a comment.
So a large part of hip-hop and rap originated mainly from Africa, namely west Africa. I was listening to a hip-hop station today and wondered to myself why there aren't more rappers from Africa. Not African-Americans, but people who really live there or who are new to a western country. Hate to bring on a marketing spin on it, but that would be a really great way to sell a rapper to the public- to bring the music back to its' roots by allowing an African to rap it. I'd totally get into it, especially if they had an African accent and/or used distinctive African tones or beats. Anyone know any African rappers?
I haven't been able to sleep worth anything in the past 3 or 4 weeks. It takes me so long to fall asleep, I wake up many times a night, dream like crazy, and wake up tired. Boo! So holy cow, have you ever tried melatonin to try to get to sleep? I stopped taking the pills, but tried melatonin tea tonight. I am officially encouraging you to try this if you can't sleep--cause I'm about to drool all over my keyboard I'm suddenly incredibly sleepy. Okay bye now.
Have I ever told you how much I enjoy being in charge? Yes, the boss, the boska, the big kahuna. Not in everything, but things I like or care about, especially in cooking. If I don't care about it, don't put me in charge cause I'll be miserable.
Anyway part of my part-time job includes cooking for large retreat groups at the place I work for- so anywhere from 10-100+ people. Usually I'm doing the majority of the work by myself, but today I had 3 people working there- one was his first day in training, another was Renee coming to volunteer, and Lee. It was sweet to boss around all those people for 11 hours.
My feet and back hurt sooo bad I can't even tell you, but it was totally worth it because a) we got out two fabulous meals and made the hippie guests happy and b) we cleaned the crap out of my kitchen. It was right out of an 80's movie where they get all excited about cleaning or a project, and they play loud music and laugh and get the job done. Yeah, totally 80's.
Here's a before picture of the kitchen:
And an after picture:
Mmmm yes, I like.... this is what happens with 3 excited young people and an OCD boss like me.
Here's my crew...
and my food for today's lunch, with vegan chili and baked kale which they freaked out over...
Now I gotta go to bed and get ready for another day like this...
I won't publicly say where I work, but I will say that once in a while I have to cook in their kitchen for groups that come in. This week I'll cook 8 meals for 35 people each, 2 meals a day, which is like 10 hours a day in the kitchen. This week we have a group of Hoopers in town. Hoopers, as in HULA-hoopers. That's right. This group of people has decided to come from all around to hula-hoop together. I think this is one of their websites...http://www.hooping.org/...
Most of them are vegetarians and vegans. If you're cooking for vegans this means you can use NO product from any animal- including milk, butter, eggs, animal fats, and obviously meat itself. This is harder than it sounds to cook for so many people who can't eat these things. So today I put on two meals, which they freaked out over cause they apparently liked it.
However, one guy in particular said... wait, I have to explain him first: tight neon green stretch pants, tight green tshirt, a huge fake fur jacket, an orange headband with huge dreadlocks bursting out of them, face paint, eye makeup, blush and lipstick.
Okay, I'll continue: one guy in particular came up to me at the end of the night (after I'd worked 10 hours on my feet in the kitchen and I'm very tired) and here's our conversation.
Vegan: Do you have any vegan dessert?
Me: There's some fresh fruit right there- other than that, no sorry, just the cherry almond cake which isn't vegan.
Vegan: OH ::utter disappointment::
Me: What can you guys eat for dessert besides fruit anyway? I was racking my brain for a good dish.
Vegan: Well, we can have just about anything you can, just prepared differently.
Me: Oh really? Like what?
Vegan: Well, fruit, fruit salad.....all sorts of things.
Me: ...........oh.
Vegan: Yeah so anyways, something I'm really missing in the food you're making me is protein.
Me: Well I've put some kind of protein out every time, but what would you prefer?
Vegan: Oh like more beans, soy, tofu, that sort of thing.
Me: Sure thing, I'll definitely try to incorporate more beans somehow.
(What I wanted to say: HOWABOUT YOU EAT A FRICKIN' STEAK YOU DIRTY TIGHT-PANTS HIPPIE!....tell ya' where you can put your tofu...)
So that's how the rest of the week will go, I'm sure. And by Thursday when the 450th person asks me if there's fish oil in the flippin' whole wheat tortilla I will probably turn to them and say "WHO GIVES A FLYING RAT'S REAR END, JUST EAT IT AND SHUT THE CRAP UP!!!"
For the record, I could never be a vegan, or maybe even a vegetarian. I like a good steak, and breakfast sausage, and quiche, and pork tenderloin, and bbq ribs! I'm gonna go chew on some sort of animal just to spite my company.
Friday afternoon, Renee and I spent about 15 minutes packing, hopped in the car with no plans and old maps, and went to Asheville. Asheville is my favorite city on the eastern coast, and I was very close to moving here. Renee and I aren't greeted with you-must-be-an-alien stares like we get in Mebane--but greeted with "Hello"s and smiles. I'd move there in a heartbeat if housing wasn't ridiculous and the job market wasn't so bad. There's just a different way of life there if you really pay attention. Some might say it's a liberal hippie town, but I think it's just a place where people are free to express themselves in whatever way they want, and people accept it...ok, maybe it IS a hippie place but I like it.
Anyway, we participated in what I call "urban hiking". Not sure if that's a real term, but it's basically spending hours of your day exploring cities on foot. We spent Friday afternoon and evening and also Saturday afternoon exploring Asheville and it was really nice.
People say there are campsites all over Asheville, so we brought our camping gear. We didn't plan on a particular place either. When we got there, though, we realized that you really have to know where these sites are. We drove around for like 2 hours looking for a place to camp and/or a cheap hotel. Finally we got tired of looking and settled on a nasty hotel. It worked though. This prostitute came up and asked me for cigarettes...then came back later and asked me for a ride to the store. It wasn't cool.
Check out my pics on Facebook if you wanna see more.
Today I had one of those moments that don't happen very often. The moments when just for a brief time, maybe a few seconds, maybe a few minutes, where everything feels perfect. I woke up early to do some work at the coffee shop and got some important work done so I felt accomplished. I was driving down the road in a really neat little town I'm starting to enjoy more and more, with a coffee in my hand, with the windows down and good loud music playing. The temperature was perfect, my taste buds were satisfied, I felt ok with being in North Carolina, and all-in-all, I was pretty happy. I even smiled to myself.
But it only lasted for about 10 or 15 seconds.
I immediately started thinking about reality. I had just checked my credit card and bank accounts online before then, and all of the sudden I had a stark realization that I am the deepest in debt I've ever been with a job that doesn't pay enough to make a dent in it. I don't even have a car of my own after my Subaru tragedy. I thought of my housing situation at home, my support raising realities that are hard to swallow, relationships gone sour and hard feelings, and felt my body fall into this state of dread and anxiety. I've been wanting to burst into tears all morning.
But I thought to myself during all of this: I wonder if Heaven is like those 15 seconds of total satisfaction that I had this morning, and have once in a while. What if, for eternity, we can experience a complete and utter contentment and joy? That's what Heaven is, right? Can you imagine that? Can you imagine removing every single source of stress and anxiety from your mind for more than a few seconds?
Just think, that joy I experienced for a brief moment is what it'll feel like forever. I wonder if God ever purposefully removes that anxiety like what happened this morning to give us a tiny tiny glimpse of what Heaven will be like. Just a taste of His glory. I don't know if He does or if that's biblically correct, but I wonder.
How I look forward to the day I'll be in everlasting bliss with my Lord.
If you've never heard of the artists called MUSE, and you appreciate the real artistry of rock music, then I would recommend you listen to them. They're not for everyone, mind you. They're definitely not for people like my family who have the patience of a...hmm, what kind of object doesn't have patience? Well there goes my analogy. Anyway, parts of the songs can be so fast-paced and energetic which might drive you crazy, while other parts of the songs may be very relaxing...though most of it is energetic rock.
I really appreciate this band because you can tell by their music that they must spend an incredible amount of time putting the songs together. They thoughtfully construct it, unlike so many bands who just throw songs together like a pizza. (what?)
So if you're going to take my advice, I would recommend the Absolution CD. I haven't heard any of their other stuff, so I'm not sure how it is. My favorite songs on there are probably Apocalypse Please, Stockholm Syndrome, and my all-time favorite: Butterflies and Hurricanes.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3ixQDquaIHM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wC-u2yIsawM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tD3tCeFQMw8
THEY ARE INCREDIBLE LIVE!! The singer just doesn't make mistakes and it sounds just like the album.
Okay, by the way, one thing you probably don't know about me, and something I don't admit very freely (even though I'm admitting it on a public blog...good one)... Once in a while when I see or hear certain things that, to me, take an incredible amount of talent and hits my heart a certain way, I'll cry--or almost cry--or just get choked up depending on if I'm in public. I think that's either really weird and lame, or just tells you how much music, the arts, and raw talent "speaks" to me.
It usually happens when I see things live, like live music or dancing or something.
So yeah, for some reason this band produces the kind of music that seems to hit me that way. Not all of what they do, but especially seeing them play my favorite songs for an audience. Okay, yeah I know I'm a big wuss. (What happened to me!?)
I've stumbled across a magazine I am very interested in. It's called Geez Magazine- tagline is Holy mischief in an age of fast faith. http://www.geezmagazine.org/ Their latest issue was an art issue. Now mind you, there are some things in this issue which I totally understand if people are uncomfortable with - it's a little edgy, but still worth a look.
Inside the front cover reads this:
"In an age of concentration camps and atomic bombs, religious and artistic sincerity will certainly exclude all "prettiness" or shallow sentimentality. Beauty, for us, cannot be a mere appeal to conventional pleasures of the imagination and senses.
Nor can it be found in cold, academic perfection.
The art of our time, sacred art included, will necessarily be characterized by a certain poverty, grimness and roughness which correspond to the violent realities of a cruel age.
Sacred art cannot be cruel, but it must know how to be compassionate with the victims of cruelty: and one does not offer lollipops to a starving man in a totalitarian death-camp. Nore does one offer him the message of a pitifully inadequate optimism.
Our Christian hope is the purest of all lights that shine in darkness, but it shines in darkness and one must enter into darkness to see it shining."
Great stuff.
1) Rental cars cost way too much. It cost me almost $900 to use the cheapest, smallest rental car that the cheapest company had for 9 days. That is just absurd! I'm definitely glad I got to speak at the missions conference last week, but how I wish that $900+$300 for the plane ticket could have just been used for my support instead!
2) Major props to my fairly new iPod classic and brand new Nokia phone this week. I left my iPod charger at home and it didn't ever lose battery power...even after using it from 20 minutes to 4 hours a day. My old iPod Nano would die after a few hours--the stupid thing broke on the way to SK to poor Petra who discovered the corpse upon arrival (still feel bad for that). Anyway, good job new iPod king. Maybe I'll call you The King from now on.
I hate Nokia phones very much, but I gotta say, the battery life on that bad boy is amazing. Thanks stupid Nokia phone. My old Motorolla Razr would die after less than a day but I loved the setup cause I've had Motorolla phones for like 10 years almost.
3) If I didn't have a GPS, I would still be lost in the Pennsylvania country somewhere. Thanks GPS. I gave her an Australian accent too, which I heartily enjoyed.
4) I don't really like flying anymore. I used to really like it cause it was exciting, especially when I was alone. But after years of flying by myself, and hearing of all the plane crashes in the sky, it's just not fun anymore. In fact, I don't remember the last time I got to travel with anyone.
Anyway, once in a while I get kinda claustrophobic / OCD in certain circumstances. It happens kinda randomly, but I definitely had an episode today on the way home. It was hot, I was in the back seat of the plane right by the bathroom and tight walkway-the seat which I call the "butt seat" (well, I call it something else but this is a PG blog) because everyone puts their butt right in your face while trying to open the trap door by the bathroom. Anyway, and this businessman hogged the armrest, and there was turbulence, and I was exhausted, whatever. So I can get a little wacked out once in a while.
Oh speaking of flying: I don't have too much patience in the airport when I'm traveling in a hurry, like my dear friend Craig who has the same impatience. For example, we're boarding this tiny little plane, right, and this big guy spends at least 3 or 4 full minutes blocking the walkway cause he's trying to organize his little briefcase. I can honestly do nothing but stand there with a "HURRY THE *blank* UP!!" look on my face. Like, are you seriously clueless enough to not realize that there are 30 something people waiting for you!? I hate that.
5) I know I've said this to some of you, but Pittsburgh is pretty cool. I think whether or not you like a city has a lot to do with whether you know anybody there, and whether you find some cool places, or have something specific to do. It helped to know my friend Megan there, and also to have a GPS to guide me around. Without those two things, I might have felt differently about it.
Oh, and I used to love long tunnels too...but not anymore...especially the ones with huge mountains on top of them. Even bridges and overlooks too. I've really become a wuss. I think I've seen way too many Hollywood tragedy movies where bridges collapse and tunnels cave in or something--cause seriously I start to kinda freak out inside sometimes, just visualizing this pre-tragedy. It makes me mad cause it's stupid to be afraid of those things.
ANYWAY, one thing I liked about Pitt is that you're sort of in the country for a while, and you pass through this long cool tunnel, and RIGHT when come out of the tunnel it's like BAM! PITTSBURGH SKY LINE! It's really great. Obviously the coffee shop I wrote about on Friday was also a highlight- if I lived near there, I would literally be there all the time. Out of the many cups of iced espresso I had in Pitt, I only had one bad cup--which is a darn fine ratio.
6) I listened to the same 20 songs of The Weepies over and over for at least 90% of the trip. I am a new fan. If you're interested, check out the songs: Somebody Loved, All That I Want, Gotta Have You, Nobody Knows Me At All, Stars, Love Doesn't Last Too Long, and Comfort.
7) For any of you that know Megan Stehle, her apartment in Pittsburgh is awesome! Sooo cute- kinda European compared to southern places.
I'm sure there's more to say, but I'll write more when I'm in the mood.
I want all owners of all coffee shops to take heed and listen! Most of you suck... so try to be more like this place: Beehive Coffee in Pittsburgh, PA. This, in my humble yet snobby opinion, is what coffee shops should be like. 
I can't explain the atmosphere, but imagine a place that looks like it's taken years to decorate.... a hilarious Indian guy behind the counter breaking out in random pop songs... fresh baked goods AND soups and salads and real food... the menus painted with real paint on a real canvas with a real frame... free wi-fi AND free internet access on their own computers here... murals on the wall which aren't STUPID to look at... awesome welded metal 
contraptions suspended in the air... not to mention a great logo and great location (minus the difficult parking)... and PAPER CUPS! NOT styrofoam. Booooo for styrofoam. OH, and did I mention that their espresso is incredible?!
As you may or may not know, I have wanted to have a shop of my own for like 8 or 9 years--it's one of my dreams. Not sure it'll ever happen, judging from the past year of my life's plans turning right upside down...but when I think of owning a place, this is what I think of. I don't want to start it unless I have a great building with a great location and enough money. Otherwise it's not worth it. I've been to a lot of below average coffee shops in my life and this is one of the first ones that meets my expectations as a possible-future-entrepreneur. So, Beehive Coffee, you rule. Keep it up.
I wrote this back in 2004 while serving with MTW in Ethiopia. One day in particular was very difficult for me. Most days were spent doing our rounds with our AIDS patients- visiting them in their homes, giving them money, food or medicine, and mostly spiritual encouragement. Many of them were in decent shape, but Alemitu was one woman in particular who was doing very poorly and it broke my heart. (By the way, the picture above is not her) This is what I wrote that night in my bed....
Alemitu
im sitting in your closet
and i cant understand
how someone could live
in these four walls over sand
i smell your waste under
the bed, in buckets with flies
and ants the only ones moving instead
somehow no tears in your eyes
even though mine are
about to flood with many
you lay in your bed with no
might to earn a penny
im afraid to breathe
afraid to ingest the scent
because i can almost touch
the filth in the air so stagnant
your eyes half open
your heart half shut
shallow breaths escape your mouth
encircling in this hut
you love the One that gives you life
im thankful youre here
but its full of pain and full of strife
and i almost with you would
leave this place so fast that
your pain would disappear
and youd be gone from here
and into your Fathers sight so clear
may He keep you safe Alemitu
but not too long
------------------------------
This is what I wrote earlier that day in my journal...
Teddy greets a beautiful young girl with a wonderful smile. She greets him back and welcomes us into their home. We step up on small cement blocks past a metal door that's about to fall off. To our right are 3 or 4 children sitting in stacked up used tires, a cat with red crusty eyes and a malnutritioned stomach, trash and unidentifiable waste. Straight ahead are two other doors leading into other small homes. To our left is our beneficiaries' home. There is no light in this room except for the sunshine from the door, so I don't really know where I'm stepping, without following the backs of Jennifer in front of me. The room is about 12 feet by 7. They tell us to sit down, so Jennifer and I find chairs to the left. Straight into the room is a single bed, where Teddy sits and greets a young girl that is laying on it. The floor is as uneven as the road and has scrap lenoleum tiles that cover the surface. There is a wooden box where I suspect she keeps her food, right in front of the hundreds of ants that line her wall. The walls are covered in Amharic and English products and posters. Mary and Jesus are there too. The walls were obviously made with mud, sticks and paper because I can see some newspaper under the thin surface of paint and cracks. Beside her bed is a stand which has sterile medication with Amharic writing on it.
The young lady on the red flowered mattress covers herself with another white blanket. She is laying on her right side, facing the doorway and her visitors with one hand under her cheek and the other beside her first hand. She doesn't move, except that she breathes very quickly and shallow. Her eyes are barely open but her large lips are, showing her beautiful white teeth. Her legs are crossed; they're so small, I wondered where the rest of her body was, it looked like an illusion. Her mattress is probably 2 inches thick so her hip bone hurts from lying on her side. Her muscles are sunken in by her cheekbones and are discolored a little darker. Her name is Alemitu and she is infected with AIDS. She had just come back from the hospital a few days before and is in much pain. Her friends in Sudan want her to come home, but she's afraid that the trip home would make her too weak. What her friends don't want to tell her is that they want her to come home to die. Her parents are somewhere in Ethiopia, but only suspect her of having AIDS. She's afraid to tell them. Her community knows and rejects her for it; they give her no aid and ban her for her disease. She cannot work, and the only thing keeping her alive is her older friend, the landlord.
This lady already has many children of her own. She cannot work because she must take care of her children and her sick friend. Her only income is 120 burr a month, which is about $14. The community has also banned her because she is taking care of her friend. She gives her medicine, helps her use the bathroom, helps her go to the hospital and get into bed. The patient did not ask for her help, but the landlord insisted on helping her friend, of which she has paid dearly for. Teddy talks to both the patient and the landlord; asking them about her medication, her status, etc. The young woman can barely speak, and most of what she says is a slurred "eshi", which means okay, hello, goodbye, etc. I ask Teddy how old she is. He doesn't remember so he asks her. She does not know. She has no idea how old she is. Teddy says many Ethiopians do not know. At that point my tears were being held back. She is a Christian and has hope, thank the Lord. Teddy reminds her of her hope in Christ, reads the scripture to her, and we pray with her, placing our fat hands on her tiny legs. We exchange "eshi's" and "caio's" while smiling and shaking our hands and heads at both patient and landlord. How can I smile after that?
I think Alemitu died shortly after I wrote this.
I've been thinking of Africa again lately... what a surprise! I really want to go on another safari. I went on a driving safari and also a walking safari in South Africa way back in 2002. I don't know why, but these memories of the safari are some of the most exciting and memorable times of my life.
So... who wants to go on another safari with me sometime? Seriously! I say we catch a plane to Ethiopia or Kenya and go for a week or two. You won't regret it. It'll change your life! Slovaks, want to take a vacation? :D
Speaking of safaris, I ate some pretty interesting food while staying in one of the parks. I ate both wildebeest and impala for dinner one night. I'd say I liked impala better, cause the wildebeest was kinda gamy. I've also had squirrel, rabbit, maybe snake and gator for sure. Gator's good. OH and deer (venison) is one of my favorite kinds of meat if prepared properly, though very hard to find.
What kind of weird food have you eaten in your life?
Yo yo yo! So obviously, the internet is a task to get my hands on here in the countryside of PA. Anyhoo a few things that weren't appropriate to put on my Slovak Blog.... (check out www.andetrumanslovakia.blogspot.com for the rest of the story up here!)
GPS IS SO A-W-E-S-O-M-E-!!! I am driving all over the back roads of Pennsylvania, and honestly without this GPS unit I rented, I am 100% sure I would be much more stressed and becoming lost on a regular basis. I absolutely love it. What's really funny to me is that within 3 minutes of having the GPS, I took a wrong turn on the highway! I burst out laughing and it took me a while to find my way back... Anyway, it's one of those things that's perfect for what I'm doing... however, I'm the kind of nerd that really really likes tangible maps, navigating, figuring out our destination time depending on our speed and measuring the map with a pencil and all that crap....sooo if you're alone it's super, but if you like that stuff like I do, then it kinda stinks cause you really become dependent on it and your sense of direction is thrown out the window. Okay, thanks, I wanted to tell somebody about that!
I also really really really like driving new cars! Oh man, Ande likes to go fast. I don't, because I can't afford another ticket, but I am one of those people who would go ridiculously fast if I had the chance to. Though not QUITE as sexy as my previous rental, the Saturn Vue, this Chevy Cobalt is actually a really nice ride. Not a fan of American cars in general, but this is really fun to drive.
Also, bowling with old people is awesome. Do it!
OH MY, okay, so I found this place called Steve and Barry's. http://www.steveandbarrys.com/ Has anyone ever been to one of these?! It's amazing! Everything in the store was under $8.95, including pants, shirts, jackets, shoes, purses, and everything else. It's really rad, check it out.
I had some crazy dreams last night. I dreamt that I was like half my size, like SUPER skinny... and someone was like, "Daaaaang you're skinny!" and I'm like, "Yeah right... (looks in the mirror) DAAAAAAANG I'M SKINNY!!! WOOHOOOO!" It was a good dream. Last night I had another conspiracy dream though- that a ton of my friends were in a conspiracy against me and I was absolutely furious with them--in fact, I think some of them did something so bad they had to go to prison for 12 years? I dunno... then the other one I'm sitting in a church pew, and my dad is trying to get out of the row and I buckle my legs in to let him pass, but at the same time I'm freaked out trying to figure out why he's right in front of me, and he turns around and says, "I know your heart is not at rest" then I woke up. Weird!
Okay, gonna jet. Later!
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