They're Just Not That Into You

I once heard of this book called, "He's Just Not That Into You". It's written for women who can't take a hint from men when they try to give hints to the women that they don't hate them, they're just not that into them. It's not anything terrible against the woman, it's just that there wasn't a connection, no "chemistry", and it talks about signs you may notice from a man who's maybe trying to communicate that without hurting your feelings.

I've never read this book, mind you, maybe because I read into hints a bit too much - or, I 'take the hint' maybe too easily.

But this idea connects to my single most annoying trait about myself. I hate it, and if you're my friend you probably hate it even more than I do. My problem is that I can't get over things quickly when someone hurts my feelings. I've recently realized that this trait must run in the family, because my mother and sister are the exact same way.

Someone may hurt my feelings, or something stinky happens, and sometimes I won't be able to "get over it" for days and days. This anger or grief makes me literally shut down to the point of extreme laziness and apathy. Sometimes, unless that person apologizes or the situation has been resolved, I easily hold grudges for a long time. I don't mind forgiving people, but if that person doesn't apologize then it's a different story.

Like today for example... a supposed "good friend" proved to me that they didn't want to her about my mission to Slovakia, by requesting to be taken off my e-mail newsletter. To most people this is not a big deal--but to ME, this says they don't want to hear about the most important thing in my life right now, and they simply don't care about it. They're just not that into me and what I'm doing.... which makes it hard for me to break this pattern of noticing that a large portion of people I know just don't give a crap.

Maybe I've read into to it too much, but this is part of why I, Ande, am so annoying because I'm too darn sensitive. Maybe I'm this way because all my life I've been told to basically "Shutup and get over it" for EVERY THING that hurt and my brain is finally like- yeah well I'm NOT gonna get over it, and instead I'm going to complain about it to myself for days just to rebel!

Grrr....I had to get that off my chest, thanks!