Well my goodness, I have a lot to write about! Where should I start? I've been writing a lot since I started this thing. Don't feel obligated to read it all, you know. It's just a build up plethora of ideas over a long time that I haven't had an outlet for!

First of all, I just stuffed myself with some super good Tex-Mex food from Tijuana Flats, so my brain is feeling a bit retarded (the actual definition, not insult) right now.

Second of all, before I get to my story, can someone out there help me with the English language? If I want to refer to a male, I can say boy, kid, guy, man, dude, fella', bloke, gentleman, hunk, hottie, jackass, etc. Okay fine, forget the last 3. My point is there's a name for just about every age there. But what about a female? There's girl, woman, and lady. Girl sounds like they're 10 years old, woman and lady sound like 50 years old. What is appropriate to call a female between 10 and 50?? For example, a 29 old female. We need a new word. Maybe something like girman, or ladirl.

So I wanted to talk about what just happened from 12-1 today. Right before I usually go to lunch, I got an e-mail from the main administrative lady here saying that there would be an "intercessory prayer meeting" from 12-1. To be honest, I've never been interested in tagging along in this. They usually have it in the huge meeting hall, and sometimes when I walk by when they're having it, I hear a lot of screaming and mumbling and crying. However, lately, I've been wanting to give it a shot.

Time out. Before I go on, a little background towards my feelings of charismatics and my upbringing.

One extreme - Charismania! - If you don't know, I work for a very charismatic Christian company. I'd say most of the people here go to some form of charismatic church. When I say that, I'm talking about things going in their church such as speaking in tongues, clapping, yelling, dancing, everyone's arms raised, jumping, running, etc. I'm not saying everyone in here goes to a church that does that, and every charismatic church does that- but you get my point right?

Second extreme - Conservamania! (I made that up) - I grew up in a very conservative reformed Baptist church in a small town in the bible belt. The extent of our charisma was quietly saying "amen" during the preaching. We sit still, don't talk, hands in your lap, don't chew gum, don't turn around, don't shake your leg, don't go to the bathroom, sing hymns from the hymnbook with the piano (you better sing loud), and didn't I tell you to stop shaking your leg!? So growing up I was taught to believe that charismania was considered a much less desirable denomination, really weird and, well, wrong.

Whenever I was in semi-charismatic church, or even at a church when people raised their hands, I immediately felt a sense of discomfort. One time at my home church while the pastor was preaching, a first time visitor had stood up and raised his hands during the service. You could have heard a pin drop, I tell ya! 400 some odd faces turned and stared. The preacher stopped, looked right at him and said, "Sir, please sit down." He fell in love with our church! Kidding of course, poor guy never came back.

A reasonable middle ground - The other day I was talking to a friend about religion in Africa. I got to thinking about the African churches I attended- and I recalled how charismatic they appeared. But when I heard and saw it, I didn't feel uneasy about it. For some reason, it made sense to me that they would react that way to the Holy Spirit. My friend and I said it may be that way be because there is so much darkness there, and the Holy Spirit brings such a presence with it, especially due to all of the spiritual warfare as well. Long story, but I'll stop there for now. My point is that there is a healthy "charisma" out there.

SO! Grew up in reserved church, surrounded by charismatic church now, seen a good in between church. In other words, I'm becoming more tolerant to this. 5 years ago if I saw someone raising their hands in worship I'd immediately feel uncomfortable. Today, I heard a lot of speaking in tongues directed AT ME and I didn't run away, so that tells me something.

Back to my story! I had planned on spending my lunch hour calling churches for support. As you may have read on my SK blog, I'm trying to make an effort not to stress about financials and let God take care of stuff. So, I made the decision to go to this prayer thing, and I planned on sitting near the door and sneaking out early in case they started getting rowdy. We were in a small room instead of the auditorium thing.

I walk in the door and am greeted by surprised coworkers who've never seen me come to one of these things. One of them is sitting behind the piano, and another is speaking about politics and how we need or pray for our government. One by one, people started filing in. About 20-22 people showed up in this small room. We started the session by singing praise and worship. I immediately started to feel a little uncomfortable because it wasn't even 2 minutes before people started speaking loudly in tongues and clapping and stuff. I stayed the course and just closed my eyes and put my head down. That helped 'cause I wasn't as distracted.

I started to sing, and like what's been happening for a few months now, I just sat there and cried (a good cry, not a sad cry). Then, a few minutes later I just started to weep (good weep). It was such a stirring time to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit there and to hear people praying so fervently.

It was so genuine and not scary like I thought it'd be and really refreshing to just BE with the Lord when I needed it the most. I, of course, was a bit embarrassed to cry in front of coworkers, but when I glanced up, everyone was doing their own thing and I wasn't embarrassed anymore. It was just me and God, really nice.

Then, well... I wouldn't say it went downhill, but it definitely took a turn of some kind. We weren't singing anymore, but praying--so the music didn't drown out the speaking in tongues like it was before. For about 20 or 25 minutes, it got just a little...interesting. See--right here, I want to poke fun at what I saw, but I feel like I should be more respectful. So I'm going to refrain from jokes and just say things I saw. Speaking in tongues to me, is, well, strange. I don't really get it. I got really distracted at all the different "tongues" being "spoken". This one person started like, barking like a dog and it startled me a few times. People were improvisationally singing to the soft music being played, and some would mix their tongues with the singing which was very interesting. I almost left, to be honest. I kept thinking, "Oh my goodness, my family would totally freak out if they were here!"

But I stayed out of courtesy. Right at the end this women who I've never met started speaking. For some reason, I can't explain it, I knew she was about to talk about me. Isn't that weird how that happens? Anyway, she started saying all this stuff about how Jesus was in the room above us who was singing the song we were singing--but he started the song and the worship leader followed his lead or something? Then she said something like "God is here and He's telling me to say something. He is asking me to tell you two young people right there ::she pointed at me and this other guy beside me:: that He wants you to look at yourself like He sees you. He wants you to know that He loves you more than you love yourself and He wants you to be blessed." First thought? Skepticism. Second thought? Hmmmmmm.....

The leader asked if I would receive her blessing. (?) So uh, I didn't wanna be rude, and can you imagine if I said no?, so I said yes. Everyone then prayed for me and this other guy. One woman laid hands on me and was speaking in tongues, which honestly was a bit strange for me but I got over it.

But beside me was this guy about my age. I think he had his head lowered most of the time, and when he heard this, he just started crying. He was obviously going through some stuff. I put my hand on his back and we just sat there crying. I don't even know this dude! I didn't mind though.

Then we ended our time and went back to our desks to stare at computer screens. Ha!

I'm glad I went. It was a little weird. I wouldn't necessarily act like they do, but I'm learning to be more respectful of other people even if I disagree with them or don't understand them. In a way, part of me is kinda envious at how they're not afraid to express their praise in a physical way like I am. I'm also learning that God is much bigger than we give Him credit for - not just bigger, He's a lot more magical (can I use that word?!) than we think. More supernatural than we give Him credit for...at least more than I give Him credit for! And it's good to cry and be vulnerable with Christ. It's good to once in a while stop caring about surface discomforts and really get into the nitty gritty of worship...and maybe, MAYBE just for a while to really entertain the idea of God doing something supernatural.