Why Don't Stupid Americans Learn More Languages?!

I'll tell you why. This question irritates me and I seem to hear it all the time. Yeah yeah, we're fat and stupid and lazy and we think we're all the best and English is all we need and whatever... ya know, there are stereotypes for every country and sub-culture in the world and YES, most of the time it's a stereotype because it's partially true--I will agree with that. Many Americans fit the exact mold of what I just said.

But I just want to stick up for us for a minute- cause I mean, I know that Americans aren't supposed to be patriotic or anything since that would make us ignorant fools.... but I don't care. I want to give you a few reasons why Americans don't find learning a bunch of languages a top priority for them in their lives.

Let's take for example Bob who lives in North Platte, Nebraska. If Bob were to drive 1,300 miles south, 1,600 miles west, 2,000 east, or 3,500 miles to the North (west), he would STILL BE in his own country who speaks English. One major language. He could even go further as Canada obviously speaks English, and as my step dad said, "You could go a few thousand miles south in South America but if you go to a tourist town or hotel they probably speak English anyway."

Take Europe for example. If Europe were a triangle, to get from one point to another it would be about 3,500 miles. Within that triangle there are about 230 languages. Only knowing one language in the midst of several smaller countries so close together would not be very advantageous. Let's say you're working in Switzerland. You have Italian to the south, French to the west, German to the north, and 2 countries to the east you have a junk load of other languages like Czech and Slovak. To be in business and only know German would result in lost business.

Another thing... English is obviously becoming an international language. It's not my fault- it wasn't my decision- it's just the way it is! So yes, I can go just about anywhere in the world and a lot of people I'll meet know their own language plus English.

So listen- here's the deal. Of COURSE I think Americans should learn other languages. There are plenty of benefits in learning languages and it's a good good thing. I'm not saying people shouldn't learn them... ok? But what I am saying is for you people out there who criticize us for being stupid because we don't learn a bunch of languages, find something better to criticize us for!