R-E-S-P-E-C-T, as Aretha Sang

What attracts you to friends? Not boyfriends or girlfriends, I mean good ol' fashioned friends. What is it about them that makes you like them? What makes you click? What keeps you from saying Screw You and walking away to never talk to them again?

I believe I have a pretty simple answer to that question. Now sure, there are many factors that help you make that decision. They may dress like you, or listen to the same kind of music or maybe you just work with them or attend the same school. There are factors that you're not even aware of. For example, if I'm a 26 year old single American female, I will probably tend to be friends with someone of a similar status. I would not naturally be good friends with a 50 year old Chinese man or a 10 year old.

But it's more than just demographics that go into friendships. I think for me the greatest factor in friendships is respect. Think about it, are you good friends with people you don't respect? I doubt it. If you are friends with someone you really don't respect, there's something wrong with that relationship. I am not friends with certain people because I don't respect them. I don't like the decisions they've made or how they spend their lives. You are who you hang around with, so if you hang around losers all day, will that not greatly affect your character? I think so.

I came to that conclusion after a long 12 hour drive a few days ago. I was listening to a friend of mine playing the piano that was recorded on a CD. I found myself thinking, Geez I totally don't deserve a friend that talented! I have felt that same feeling towards friends who have other gifts and talents, like being totally fluent in 2 or more languages. I've felt that about friends who are happier than I am, friends who are well rounded and normal, or friends that choose purity over lack of self control.

And I don't believe I love them only because of their talents but I respect those who have great qualities. Part of having a skill is determination, discipline, and intelligence! I respect that, and because I respect them, I look up to them. I believe a healthy relationship or friendship kinda requires both of you to think, "Gosh, I kinda don't deserve his/her friendship". At least, I think the closest friendships should have that element. Speaking of which, I also think you NEED to think that way about your potential spouse. If I can't "look up" to my boyfriend, if I can't respect him, then forget marriage! I'll be living in resentment towards him and vice versa.

Anyway that's all I wanted to say about that.