Away and Gone

I wrote this years ago about my curse of taking things personally from real jerks who hurt my feelings and signified a change in my ability to stand up for myself. Oh and I don't like to use correct punctuation and crap when I write this kinda stuff, sorry.

((If I were reading this out loud I'd take the least amount of breaths as possible, with my finger pointed at someone and my voice raising as I read it--it's how I wrote it kinda))


My mind that takes and twists
each pinch that comes from one
who doesnt know theyve missed
seeing that ive come undone

from one little word that fell-
and they never considered
that it could hurt like hell
and it soaks in my brain to ponder-

and the memory replays in my head
over and over until it changes
everything that was first said-
and now something twisted enrages

embedded deep in a temping affair
thats recessed inside and churning-
and i remember each small tear
that rips into my heart and its burning

me and all the while this person
that has no idea what theyve done
or the implications theyve hung
on a nail thats been driven with fun-

along with a snicker to reverberate
into every nerve that ever gave me
the idea i was worthy of the benefit
of the doubt that i cared to be

someone who cares to love
the person inside of you despite
the way you don't care above
anyone but whos in the mirrors sight-

and i would have loved you anyway
but you dont even care by the words
you repeat to me every day
reminding me that i deserve worse

than what i am in my insignificant self
erasing the rest of my dignity-
and every bit of respect i held
for any bit of you is now free

by the reminder that im free
from you and from the world
who has an opinion of little me
that has only been furled

up with the assumption that my past
is nothing to be compared with your future
by yourself and continuing to be the last
person who has ever thought to nurture-

so now i erase you from my head
and forget all those things you once
said to me and live on instead
in the confidence that ill move on

in a world without you away and gone.