The Listening Christian / Good Sermons

I used to belong to this small group. It was technically the college group of one of my churches, but since there were hardly any college aged kids there, it was very small. It was the best small group I've ever belonged to and I remember it often in sadness that I don't have it anymore.

Something happened one night that I think about all the time. I think about it in frustration though, not of joy. One night we had a friend of one of the members come to join us. It was a male and most of us were females. He was very open in the fact that he did not believe in God and had many reasons not to. At one point the leader gave him the floor and allowed him to tell us what he was thinking about. He willingly accepted and for about 5 minutes or so he told us all the reasons why Jesus didn't exist and Christianity was a hoax.

We all sat there, diligently listening to him, not interrupting or being pushy. It started to get a bit awkward for a few people eventually because no one was saying anything - we were just thinking. As we were thinking and pondering on such strong words he uttered, the male leader spoke up and said quietly with a face of disgust, "You know guys, I'm honestly really disappointed in you all. You just sat there and let our guest call your faith, your reason for living a complete hoax. You didn't say anything back and you didn't argue with him. I'm just really disappointed in you." This meant a lot to us who belonged to the group because we really respected and loved our leader. (Hard to hear criticism from someone you respect, right?) He then changed the subject to our book study and left it like that. At the time, we all felt like fools and walked out the door that night with our heads held low. We felt embarrassed and defeated. The guest and the group leader felt like he won that battle.

Over the years as I pondered this situation, I grow more and more frustrated with how the leader handled that situation. What frustrated me was that we were shutting up and listening to our guest share his opinion. Though we didn't agree with it, we let him share. We also didn't jump down his back after his last word and tell him why he's going to hell and he's wrong while we shut our eyes and plug our ears saying, "LA LA LA can't hear you, you're wrong, LA LA LA". We didn't gang up on him and throw stones at him or verbal low-blows. We just shut up and listened. Perhaps this dude had never had a Christian, or a group of Christians for that matter, just listen to him.

Though I admit it would have been better if at least one of us had said something reassuring to him, or asked him questions or something, I believe we did the right thing at the time. I believe this because I think bringing people to Christ isn't about winning arguments. It's not about looking good, and making them feel like crap all the time. It's about shutting up, listening, loving and pointing them in the right direction. It's about taking time, sometimes even years to reach out to someone, not looking good in front of your youth group leader for a few minutes.

If I had to go through that situation again I probably would have only done one thing different- I would have not let that guy walk out that door without exchanging contact information and really making an effort to reach out to him...or at least put him in contact with a male friend.

I guess I'm saying this on here because since then, for like 4 years or so, I have frequently thought about that night and tried to figure out what I did wrong and how bad we all looked as Christians in front of that guy. But I've finally come to the conclusion that I'm not disappointed in my group and how that went down, but disappointed in how my leader expected us to jump down his throat like an overbearing Christian. That's not, my friends, what our faith is all about.

By the way, I don't know if I've ever suggested that someone listen to my home church's online sermons, so consider this a historical moment. Lately Gary Hendrix (the Mac Daddy pastor I've grown up listening to) has preached some excellent sermons. Here's the link, look for Gary's sermons, especially towards the bottom. http://www.grbc.net/sermons/ Enjoy!