Sex. Oooh I have your attention now, don't I? In a way that's kind of part of my topic tonight, but don't worry, I don't really think it's inappropriate in its' context.

A topic on the minds of just about any 20 and 30 something Christians nowadays is marriage. Yes, I say Christians specifically because in most cases we have a significantly different moral dilemma than most other 20 and 30 somethings of the world who are unbelievers or who do not hold certain moral values with their sexuality. Our moral dilemma is this: we don't have the freedom to give our bodies away until we're married. Some do anyway because of the lack of self control or slip of conscience. But we all want to, no matter if we've never had a relationship or if we've had 50, we all want to.

Most people who don't have this dilemma and feel like they have sexual freedom usually aren't thinking about marriage- they're thinking about sex. Why get married if you're doing all the things a married couple can do, but without the commitment? What's the point?

For us it's not easy; I mean look at what we're up against! We've got society with movies and music that dangle that temptation within your reach, we've got ourselves working against us via hormones and testosterone, we've got everyone around us enjoying something we can't touch (sometimes including our own friends, whether single or married), and worst of all we've got Satan using all of those factors against us. It's not easy, and anyone that says it's easy I'd be really interested to talk to.

So here I am, 24 1/2, and it's harder and harder every day. Do you know why it's so hard to be 24, single, and Christian? Sure, all those previous reasons are a factor, but do you want to know what I think about more than all of those reasons? My Single Christian Shelf Life, as I call it. I have heard this a thousand times from Christians, and don't you deny it either, you've heard something like this: "Well she's 31 and single, there must be something wrong with her." or "He's kinda old, if he's that old and still single then he must not have been able to snag a good enough girl." or some crap like that.

I gotta be honest with you, it kinda breaks my heart when I hear this from Christians. The single most reason I stress about getting older and not married is because of other Christians. Let's face it, in our society in my experience, once you hit a certain age and you're still single, it seems like there is just something very wrong with you- like you've expired past the acceptable date. From what I've seen, you better start dating and working your way towards marriage from about 22-27. If you're not either of those before 27, well honey you are screwed. I of course don't think that, but it's in all of our minds and we're reminded of it all the time.

That means I must be halfway to being hopeless. What pressure! What unbelievable unfortunate pressure on young Christian men and women.

I'll state for the record that those of you that are in your 30's or late 20's and still single and Christian, man, major props to you, especially if you've made a commitment to sexual purity. I friggin' respect you like crazy. I know I'm only 24 but I won't be surprised if I'll be in your boat soon. I don't want to be in that boat, I mean I'd love to at LEAST start dating someone serious fairly soon, but realistically it could happen. There's no guarantee that I will be married before I'm 40. WOW I wish I didn't just say that. But seriously, we have no guarantee for anything in life.

I don't know if it's mainly western society that's like this or worldwide, but it's definitely characteristic of my southern United States Christian circle. Sometimes I kinda wish I could've grown up somewhere with arranged marriages, but then I could get stuck with a real dud and that would suck. SPEAKING OF WHICH! I also want to go on the record and say this, mostly for my own good: It is better to be single than to be sorry. I see this so often, especially in smaller oppressive towns like Mebane: people settle for someone because they're tired of waiting. People are tired of being strong, tired of being alone and broke and pitiful, so they marry the first person that comes their way that can take care of them.

Ya know, I just think there's a fine line here...between being picky and realistic. Is marriage just a social expectation? A financial agreement with someone you can put up with to grow old together and procreate and be responsible? No, I don't think it should be, and I think a lot of people see it that way. I'm not unrealistic here when I say that I will marry someone when I believe that 1) I don't want to live my life every day with anyone else and 2) I can honor the Lord better with him. Is that unrealistic?

Anyway, I just wanted to vent some of these frustrations that I think about all the time. Thoughts? Can you relate? Do you disagree? Can I get an amen? Just kidding....

Oh by the way! This is my first time sitting in a Starbucks in like 3 weeks! Gosh, I missed it so much. My head was about to go crazy. I am finally getting over the flu after a full week of doing nothing. I really felt like I just wasted a lot of precious time. I'm really ready to get to work and get to Slovakia as soon as possible. I can't blog about the reasons why due to it being public, so ask me if you don't know what I'm talking about. Okay, peace out!